A quick question: do you love birthdays like I do? I have been obsessed with birthdays since the day I turned one. The thought of grooming yourself to celebrate your life with family and friends makes me happy. I have celebrated all my birthdays since I turned one, apart from the year that I wrote my NECO exams.
However, this year started, and I was terrified of adding a year to my years. I was terrified of being a year older. I was just terrified. For someone who adores birthdays, this was quite strange. I needed to understand why I felt this uneasiness, and so I prayed. I spoke to God about this for weeks as it felt like He was the only one who could give me the right answer.
There was a particular night when I, mistakenly, told someone, who isn’t a close friend, about how I felt and he said: “it is because your mates are getting married,” Looking back now, I wasn’t angry about his response to my mind-troubling question… I felt… I felt sorry for him. I didn’t judge him for responding stupidly because we live in a society where young women are shamed for not getting married at a particular age.
It will only take the grace of God to detach yourself from this ridiculous mentality.
What I was feeling wasn’t because of my singleness, or not being married, or not being in love. What I felt was more than that, and I needed an adequate answer.
After weeks of talking to the only father figure in my life, the one who listens, the one who has answers to all questions, the one who loves regardless of the situation. I finally got an answer through Kemi Adetiba’s King Women web series: I was scared of the unknown.
I was scared that I have wasted so much time in the wrong friendships, and relationships. That I have wasted so much time doing so many things that didn’t profit my spirit man. I was scared of what the new age will bring.
But you see, the Bible has made me understand that the plan God has for His children is good and not evil. How reassuring is this? How soothing is this? How can one love His children so unconditionally?
I need not worry about the future as a child of God. As long as God sits on His throne, everything will be alright. Everything will definitely be alright. Who can separate us from the love of God? Nobody. I have goals to be met, and an empire to build… this, and more is in His hands.
Why should I then fear? He hasn’t given me the spirit of fear.
Now, I am comforted by the Holy Spirit that everything will be alright. That all will be well, as long as I continue to worship God in truth and in spirit.
Growing up isn’t so bad, after all. The lessons, heartbreaks, failures, successes, are what makes living spontaneous, don’t you think?
Thank you for reading, guys!
Have you ever been in this position before? What are your thoughts? Please share!
Drift AwayFearGrowing upLindsey AbudeiNigerian blogger in IrelandNigerian lifestyle bloggerOreoluwa AremoOvercoming